Tuesday, October 22, 2013


Death-it just sucks...that word isn't part of my vocabulary but I felt it appropriate here. Death really isn't ever fun for anyone. You can try all you want but no one is ever prepared for is...no matter the situation. Also though NO TWO situations are a like...even though it seems some how you always hear the "I have been there" speech at some point during the "process," they aren't the same.

Mark's g-pa passed away suddenly last week. Mark's dad was 1 of 4 children. His grandpa was an elderly man but like I said above it never makes death any "easier." Even though I wasn't close to his grandpa personally it hurt to watch his children be sad. It hurts to see loved ones struggling.

Also recently a friend of mine lost the baby boy she was carrying at 18 weeks. Things like this hit home...and they hit hard. You won't EVER find me saying "I have been there," "I speak from experience," but I can relate to her. Losing a child is unlike any other pain I have ever felt...holding a baby that isn't alive that grew inside of your own body, it's beyond terrible. Then the casket...the one that's miniature...no words.

These past few weeks have been pretty terrible for me personally...like in my head. I am glad I am to the point of being able to recognize it but it's still awful. Then these 2 situations happened last week...it's a reminder from the Lord to let him drive. I am a terrible driver and it shows.

The Lord has spoken so much to be these past few weeks. I love it. I want to be a listener ALL the TIME. I continue to strive in my daily walk to continue to listen even when I begin to feel the "I got this, things are going well" feeling. I want to be the person that still clings to him steadfast. That's my burden.

On Sunday our pastor talked about loving our God. He talked about making him #1 all the time. He was talking mostly in relation to money but grouped it with the actual "love" for something more than God. We discussed being aware of greed-the greed of all kinds(Luke 12:15) . Greed of money, someone else relationships, their clothes, cars, and the list goes on...Pastor Shawn talked about his love for books and how he always wants more. I quote him, "when you pursue (fill in the blank) you will find emptiness but when you pursue contentment you find joy." It goes back to the old saying the more you have the more you want...isn't that so true.

It's interesting to watch other people and couples at the point Mark and I are in our life. We all know them, the people who have all the "stuff." Then you take a step back and realize those are usually the most unhappy people.

Through all this and the past few weeks my prayer is for me to be content. I want to strive and pray for contentment in my life, even when things don't go the way I planned...even when deaths happen, feelings are hurt, I want to be content. Trust in the Lord always...

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed." Psalm 34:18

1 comment:

  1. Mark was my first call after one of best friends died in 07. I remember him telling me he didn't know what to say, but he loved me. That was all. And that was all I needed to hear. When the pain is that intense, people don't want answers or opinions or sympathy, they want to know they are loved. At least that is how I see it.


I always love what you'll have to say...thanks for stopping by!

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