Sunday, March 4, 2012


As the time approaches to meet our baby girl I can't help but miss Ryder more. I wonder how it would be if he was here. It may sound weird but sometimes when I walk past Buddy's room and see him playing quietly to himself it makes me sad. So sad, I long for him to have his best friend, his identical brother, here playing with him. I long to see "our boys" playing together-forever best friends. No one knows each other like twins, identical twins...I hate it for Wyatt.
As time passes I never want to overlook the fact that we have lost a child. That's who we are...that's a part of Mark and I lives now. It's our reality-our life. That doesn't keep us from remaining in the Lord. That doesn't keep us from having joy. It still hurts though.
I recently read this on a blog and it really hit home. She wrote, "I think people who say "time heals all wounds" must not have buried a child. Only Jesus heals wounds, and time passed is bittersweet. We are farther from our earthly life with them, and closer to our eternal life with them - but for now, we have neither." 
As we enter a new chapter of our lives we will cling to this verse:
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6


  1. Thinking about you as the time gets closer! With Hays we had problems at the end... it's so hard to sit back, trust, and not worry this time. I often think about you and say a little prayer for a wonderful delivery as our girls come. Will you be having a c-section? If so do you have a date?
    Such a well written post!

  2. Oh Emily, I am so sorry you are having these feelings. I often think the same with Kal, especially when she completely lights up with other kids. It makes me think of how Emma & Kallen would be, and how I just know they would have the best time. It makes me so sad that Wyatt doesnt have Ryder here with him.

    I could not agree more with the comment on 'time heals all wounds'. It is definitely not as raw of pain, but I still ache. I am praying for you, and that sweet baby girl!

  3. Hi Emily- I'm really sorry about your loss. I just had a miscarriage this past week. It was devastating to me even though I was only 7 weeks.Hubby and I are dealing with things the best way we know how and we are blessed with an 8 year old that keeps our lives busy. I really do feel like there's this empty hole in my heart.You have an adorable family though and I wish you nothing but luck and great things in the future! xo

  4. This is so sad and still uplifting. I am sorry for your loss but encouraged by your strength. Thank you for sharing!

  5. I'm a new follower and your story of your babies amazes me. This touched me... a lot! All I can say is that you are one strong woman! :) Thanks for sharing.


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