Saturday, July 31, 2010

It hurts...

I still don't know how I feel about posting about our recent loss. I want this blog to be about our life but I want it to be the true us, though I don't want to create a magnifying glass into Mark and I's personal life. On the other hand I do want to be able to look back and see how far we have come. (I know I kinda rambled, I hope you'll understand what I am saying here)

 Simple sentences is all I have:

It's been 2 months yesterday since the WORST and BEST day of my life occured.
I gave birth to 2 boys.
I brought one home.
One is in Heaven.
I still cry everyday.
We still have both names hanging in the nursery.
It hurts to say his name.
I want to hold him again.
I want to look at his body and rub his hair.
I want to sit in a room with Mark, Wyatt, Ryder, and me...I want to be our family of 4 that we planned for for so long.
I want Wyatt to grow up with his brother.
It hurts my heart to know others have also had to feel this pain.
Yes,  it's a physical, mental, and emotional pain.
It feels like it will never get easier.
Wyatt smiled today, he knows what his mama needs.
Wyatt is a perfect baby.

I know God has plans for us...plans to prosper not to harm....we cling to his WORD daily, without faith in Jesus Christ I could not deal with this pain.


  1. Praying for you guys! The picture of Wyatt smiling is incredible.

  2. you are amazing! your faith is uplifting and motivating!

  3. I won't even act like I remotely understand the severity of your pain. As Angie Smith puts it, "The sacred dance of grief and joy." You are experiencing both, and you are developing such a remarkable, incredible faith. I am amazed at your strength and I hurt for your pain. I love you!!! We can talk anytime if you need to.

  4. I'm so encouraged by your strength, Emily. Love you so much.

  5. You're courage to conquer each day amazes me and your faith makes mine stronger!

    Many prayers of love and happiness for you and your family!

  6. I am still praying for your healing. You give so many women strength to continue on aftr a loss. You are a very strong woman.

  7. I am thinking of and praying for you and your family. Lots of love coming your way!

    As far as what to post or not, I say post whatever is in your heart and helps YOU - after all, it is your blog!

  8. I don't know what to say. I can't even begin to understand what that feels like, and how much it hurts. I'm so, so sorry for your loss. I hope you always find strength to get through your days.

  9. You are stronger than you know and your faith is key at this point in your life. I know that no words will make it all better, but honestly it does help to talk about it more.

    Many prayers to you and your family.

  10. You are stronger than you know! I'll be keeping you in my prayers!

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